Funny Quotes

Funny:

Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok I understand....wait, what?

Why are you reading this? Who do you think you are?

Repitition is a sign of stupidity. Repitition is a sign of stupidity. Repitition is a sign of stupidity. Repitition is a sign of stupidity.

Help!Ican'tfindthespacebar!

Did you know by reading this you have just wasted 14 seconds of your life?

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

It's not "When wild animals attack" It's more like "When stupid people get bit!"

Not the brightest crayon in the box now are we?

You know you're too stressed when you can hear mimes!

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just halarious!

"Your village just called, they want their idiot back!"

Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?

Organised people are just too lazy to look for things

Did you ever wonder why glass tastes like blood?

If you're happy and you know it.....get out of my house!

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

I am actually quite pleasant....until I'm awake!

Live on no evil (read it backwards ppl)

I hate you! wait that's not very nice. I DISLIKE you VERY greatly!

I would tell you the truth but it would make you cry

If you can't say something funny about someone, don't say anything at all

Pobodies Nerfect

Roses are red, Violets are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! Hate me because....well....okay!...Hate me because I'm beautiful!

It's not called showing off. It's called you being mad because you can't do it!

Don't piss me off! I'm running outta places to hide the bodies!

A dyslexic robber runs into a bank and screams "Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a f*$k up!

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart that my teacher was in my class for 5 years.

I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote doctor.....what's my mother going to do?

When I get real bored I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot. Then I sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

The nice thing about Windows is, It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box that lets you click 'OK' first.

When I die I wanna be buried upside down so the whole world can kiss my ass!

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die!

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there is really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

~If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and go get some counselling~

You callin me a bitch? A bitch has four legs, I have two, fuck you!

To catch me, you gotta be fast, to find me, you gotta be smart, but to BE me!! DAMN! You must be kidding!

I am independant and abusive.....stay outta my way!

Ociffer, I swear to drunk I'm not god!

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes on!

I'll try to be nicer...If you try to be smarter

~ Big gurls don't cry....They get even!~

No officer there's no blood in my alcohol system.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas!

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

SMILE! it scares people....

Hi. I'm probably home. I'm just avioding someone I don't like. Leave a message. If I don't call back, it's you.

Silence is golden....but shouting is fun!

I'm not smilin' at you, I'm tryin' not to laugh!

Normal people worry me!

I told my dad I stopped raising hell and he called me a quitter!!!

If at first you don't succeed, maybe failing is your thing.

~*~Everyone deserves to feel pretty...so leave me alone!~*~

You confuse me...

??Don't ask me hard questions??

The voices in my head don't like you.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

*Sometimes i dream about being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?*

If you didn't have feet would you wear shoes? Then why do you wear a bra?

On a tombstone: "I told you I was sick"

Don't follow in my footsteps....I walk into walls!

What happened to you? Cross the street without looking?

God made elks, God made deers, God made NSYNC a bunch of queers!

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over!

Guys are like slinkies...It's always fun watching them fall down the stairs!

***Everyone's intitled to be stupid, but you're abusing the priviledge***

Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering, where the heck is my ceiling!

Did you fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your down?

I'm not a blonde!! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!

I smile b-cuz I have no idea what's going on!

I don't need your attitude...I've got one of my own.

*** I'm not weird. I'm gifted***

As an older, more mature young adult your job is to, make fun of the little kids!

A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly....think about it!

People say life is short. I say I'm shorter!

*~*You are sooo off my buddy list!*~*

My mind doesnt just wonder, some times it leaves completely.

shop till u drop then find some HoTT guys to help you up!

R U really gonna remember to stop drop and roll when ur on fire?

*~!!!ThAnK- YoU CaPtIaN ObViOuS!!!~*

*-*I uSeD tO hAvE a HaNdLe On LiFe, BuT tHeN iT bRoKe*-*

I'm not here to listen just to criticize.

~*~I'd like to help u out. Which way did u come in?~*~

I don't know what your problem is
but I bet it's hard to pronounce

You seem like a sweet person...
mind if I lick you to find out

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it
you have a serious problem!

I':(Love is like a telephone, it's sooo phony:(

Don't spit into the wind ... Trust me on this one!

So ur Canadian eh? Where's ur pet bever eh? < This was copied and pasted directly from the site we got it from....this moron can't spell beaver! Stupid Americans! LoL jks...sorta.

I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from

A wise man once said, "I don't know go ask a woman"

Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow

~I AM SO DANGEROUS
I SHOULD COME WITH A WARNING LABEL~

Lets discuss right and left. You're right, I left

I'm NOT full of balogna,
I'm full of pancakes!

I ate my homework cuz it was a piece of cake

Only one shopping day left until tomorrow....

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer.


				*The Jessmo's* *Funny Quotes*



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		Some qoutes that again..Jessmo2....thought were realy funny...well......most of them! lol



		Funny: Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok I understand....wait, what? Why are you reading this? Who do you think you are? Repitition is a sign of stupidity. Repitition is a sign of stupidity. Repitition is a sign of stupidity. Repitition is a sign of stupidity. Help!Ican'tfindthespacebar! Did you know by reading this you have just wasted 14 seconds of your life? Ever stop to think and forget to start again? It's not "When wild animals attack" It's more like "When stupid people get bit!" Not the brightest crayon in the box now are we? You know you're too stressed when you can hear mimes! It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just halarious! "Your village just called, they want their idiot back!" Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? Organised people are just too lazy to look for things Did you ever wonder why glass tastes like blood? If you're happy and you know it.....get out of my house! Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? I am actually quite pleasant....until I'm awake! Live on no evil (read it backwards ppl) I hate you! wait that's not very nice. I DISLIKE you VERY greatly! I would tell you the truth but it would make you cry If you can't say something funny about someone, don't say anything at all Pobodies Nerfect Roses are red, Violets are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you? Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! Hate me because....well....okay!...Hate me because I'm beautiful! It's not called showing off. It's called you being mad because you can't do it! Don't piss me off! I'm running outta places to hide the bodies! A dyslexic robber runs into a bank and screams "Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a f$k up! Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart that my teacher was in my class for 5 years. I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote doctor.....what's my mother going to do? When I get real bored I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot. Then I sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. The nice thing about Windows is, It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box that lets you click 'OK' first. When I die I wanna be buried upside down so the whole world can kiss my ass! Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die! You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there is really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams. ~If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and go get some counselling~ You callin me a bitch? A bitch has four legs, I have two, fuck you! To catch me, you gotta be fast, to find me, you gotta be smart, but to BE me!! DAMN! You must be kidding! I am independant and abusive.....stay outta my way! Ociffer, I swear to drunk I'm not god! Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes on! I'll try to be nicer...If you try to be smarter ~ Big gurls don't cry....They get even!~ No officer there's no blood in my alcohol system. Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas! If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk! SMILE! it scares people.... Hi. I'm probably home. I'm just avioding someone I don't like. Leave a message. If I don't call back, it's you. Silence is golden....but shouting is fun! I'm not smilin' at you, I'm tryin' not to laugh! Normal people worry me! I told my dad I stopped raising hell and he called me a quitter!!! If at first you don't succeed, maybe failing is your thing. ~~Everyone deserves to feel pretty...so leave me alone!~~ You confuse me... ??Don't ask me hard questions?? The voices in my head don't like you. Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? Sometimes i dream about being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?* If you didn't have feet would you wear shoes? Then why do you wear a bra? On a tombstone: "I told you I was sick" Don't follow in my footsteps....I walk into walls! What happened to you? Cross the street without looking? God made elks, God made deers, God made NSYNC a bunch of queers! Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over! Guys are like slinkies...It's always fun watching them fall down the stairs! *Everyone's intitled to be stupid, but you're abusing the priviledge* Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering, where the heck is my ceiling! Did you fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your down? I'm not a blonde!! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! I smile b-cuz I have no idea what's going on! I don't need your attitude...I've got one of my own. * I'm not weird. I'm gifted* As an older, more mature young adult your job is to, make fun of the little kids! A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly....think about it! People say life is short. I say I'm shorter! ~You are sooo off my buddy list!~ My mind doesnt just wonder, some times it leaves completely. shop till u drop then find some HoTT guys to help you up! R U really gonna remember to stop drop and roll when ur on fire? ~!!!ThAnK- YoU CaPtIaN ObViOuS!!!~ -I uSeD tO hAvE a HaNdLe On LiFe, BuT tHeN iT bRoKe- I'm not here to listen just to criticize. ~~I'd like to help u out. Which way did u come in?~~ I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce You seem like a sweet person... mind if I lick you to find out If Tylenol, Duct Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it you have a serious problem! I':(Love is like a telephone, it's sooo phony:( Don't spit into the wind ... Trust me on this one! So ur Canadian eh? Where's ur pet bever eh? < This was copied and pasted directly from the site we got it from....this moron can't spell beaver! Stupid Americans! LoL jks...sorta. I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from A wise man once said, "I don't know go ask a woman" Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow ~I AM SO DANGEROUS I SHOULD COME WITH A WARNING LABEL~ Lets discuss right and left. You're right, I left I'm NOT full of balogna, I'm full of pancakes! I ate my homework cuz it was a piece of cake Only one shopping day left until tomorrow.... I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.